okay, so. i stopped.
for a while, byjessalyn kind of just sat there. products on Redbubble collecting digital dust, an Etsy shop that hadn't been touched in ages, and a version of me that kept saying "i'll get back to it when the time is right."
but, the time never felt right, so i'm making it right now. with all the messiness, imperfections, and emotions.
the reason i gave up
the first time around, there was no one watching me. that made it WAY too easy to quit.
when no one's holding you accountable, it's really easy to let things slide. i kept chasing perfection before practice, bullied myself thinking i wasn't deserving or that no one would like it, and suddenly years have passed and my shops became a ghost town. and that was on me.
so this time, i'm flipping the script. you're watching now. which means i can't hide.
a (brief) history of how i got here
my small business journey has had a few chapters, none of which went the way i planned.
chapter one: the pandemic hustle. my first attempt at selling on Etsy was actually Filipino goodies on stickers and enamel pins. this was during lockdown, when i was bored and restless and looking for something to do while studying graphic design in toronto. but i wasn't really getting the marketing side of things, and it didn't go anywhere. so i pivoted.
chapter two: print on demand. i took my designs, uploaded them to Printify and Redbubble, and just... let them sit. i'd get a sale here and there, but i never went back to market it, update it, or really share it with anyone. life got busy. my full-time job took over, and with it came a lot of stress i couldn't shake off after hours, which eventually turned into a full creative block.
chapter three: the overthinker era. after all that, i spent years planning. should i do licensing? wholesale? print on demand? markets? keep it online only? keep it local? keep it a secret?? there were so many questions and zero certainty that i convinced myself that i just needed to wait until i had the perfect answer, the perfect plan, the perfect launch.
spoiler: that day never came.
perfectionism was the mask
here's what i finally had to admit to myself: i wasn't waiting for the right moment. i was hiding behind perfectionism.
i wanted everything to be so polished and so pretty and so aesthetic that people would just have to buy from me. but every time it wasn't quite there, not quite to my standards and i'd shelve it again. and again. and again.
my dreams and my passion kept getting put on hold because nothing was ever perfect enough.
so i'm done with that.
what's different this time
a few things have changed since my first attempts, and i think they actually matter:
after years working as a graphic designer on a full-time marketing team, i understand a lot more about how to actually run a business. how to share work, build an audience, and put myself out there without waiting for everything to be flawless. i'm bringing that knowledge into byjessalyn this time.
and more importantly, i'm giving myself permission to just do the thing. put out the work. be creative. be a little cringy. not everything has to be perfect to be worth sharing.
what's coming next
i'm starting with a mini collection. something motivational, something that hopefully resonates with anyone else out there who's been sitting on their creative dreams a little too long.
and i'm documenting all of it. the ups, the downs, the messy middle. no picture-perfect framing, no waiting until it's pretty enough. just the real thing.
i'm juggling a 9-to-5, figuring out how to adult, and trying to find clarity in the chaos, but i'm doing it, and i want you to come with me.
if you're rebuilding something of your own right now, i hope this gives you even a little bit of a push.
Watch the full video: i'm rebuilding my small business
You can also find me on Etsy and Redbubble
signed, byjessalyn
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